An Epic Amount of Poems

Okay, here goes. I couldn't imagine sleeping, so I thought I may as well type these up. Enjoy, hate, love, learn, what have you.

Challenge #2 - Use only song lyrics/titles.
And So We Shuffle
Measure your life in love,
time after time,
don’t forget.
It just takes a little faith,
and when the music starts,
I search for life.
Our shadows grow,
speak from my heart,
pretend that you’re feeling.
The time has come,
one single drop of rain,
and it’s crazy.
Possibilities,
like the stars,
guitar packed in the truck.
To run ‘round the wind,
what’s next,
once in love?
Surprise surprise,
turn your fear,
keep on thinking.
Looks like another silent night,
where did we go wrong,
when are you going to rhyme again?
Wake up sleeper,
you don’t have to do that,
it was so unique.
Sunrise,
makes her fly,
and I know I’m making something.
-Sarrah Loyce




Challenge #3 - my least favorite challenge which turned into my favorite poem (maybe). Challenge was to write a poem regarding your emotions that alludes to a minimum of seven literary/biblical people/places/events.
Untitled
overwhelming discontent
running, but I cannot hide
reality swallows me like the whale
and like Jonah, I still cower,
facing the sea is easier,
than acknowledging what faces me.

I find myself at a crossroads,
like Alice, with two bottle from which to choose.
a choice must be made,
it's a fact I can't avoid,
so I close my eyes, and I drink.

Am I David or Goliath?
Do I fight or am I fought?
Do I conquer, or do I fail?

I return to the road again.
the road less traveled, the long road home
I fall before him and confess
denying my denial, I am Peter
I beg to return, and I am forgiven.

So I start back on my way.
I fight like a Spartan,
long and hard, to the death.
but can I conquer?
will I defeat this fear?

How do I prevail
What is winning in this world?
Is winning containing my Pandora?
or being wholly known?
Am I an Eddie, or shall I settle for half?

No matter the case, life's a riddle
told by a Centaur who knows more than I.
all that can be done is to choose a way,
and wholeheartedly run for the gate.
pray to my God, ask for forgiveness.
scribe my name in the book, please God,
'Cause I'm coming home one day.
-Sarrah Loyce




Challenge #4: Write a dark poem, only talking about how love sucks. (Katie, my challenger, was asked to do the opposite.) Nyst be dark, angry, and/or depressing. (I don't make the rules :P)
Ugly Love
Love
is repulsive
a vulgar lie
it's a mutual misguidance
where two people think they've got it right
it starts out as a spark
and turn into a lustful lying flame
contently they lie, hoping that together they'll die.
I hope so too, please, see it through
and remove your idiocy from my life
"true love waits", no, true love hates
and it's truly a work of your mind.
it must take such imagination
to believe a thing like love could exist.
it must be a fanciful indignation, how dare you call love wise.
philosophers may fall, and lovers call out each others praise
but love will always fail, and fall under my scornful gaze.
-Sarrah Loyce




Challenge #5 - what about next Tuesday
What About Next Tuesday
today I sit, and I write
I listen, and I contemplate.
It's Friday, I know, but what
what about next Tuesday?
Something important comes that day
I don't yet know what is, maybe
So I sit, and I stand
I draw, and I meditate
on things I may already know. but what
what about next Tuesday?
what is it that calls my attention so?
it's just another day, the weather
will be what it may, so why?
why next Tuesday? why won't
it leave my head? I'll wait until
next Tuesday. and I'll hope for the best
instead. of. dwelling
on next Tuesday. but what
what about the next, next Tuesday?
another fixation that may come into my head?
It's not that it's next Tuesday.
it's the wonder and the want. but what
what is it about next Tuesday's?
why much some question always be in my mind?
curse you! Curse you Tuesday!
and next Tuesday, an all Tuesdays
after that, Good day, next Tuesday,
I'll think of Monday instead.
-Sarrah Loyce



Challenge #6 was the Attraction of Insanity...which I wonder if people will hate.




This last one is not a challenge, just a poem I wrote on my way home. (and yes, I know it changes tense)
Man on the Tube
You can see it in his face
he's remembering
it's a good memory, an old one
he relives it as I watch him,
he just looks off into space
and he smiles, a secret smile
as if he knows something you don't
and he does.
and you wonder what good memory it could possibly be
is it triggered by his music?
or is it something about the tube?
content to wonder, you write
and he dreams of that mysterious night
and you both just go on your way.
-Sarrah Loyce

The Attraction of Insanity

So, this is another one of the poetry challenges. I've done several, and I will post them all eventually, but this one has caught my attention. Though it's a little...odd...compared to my typical writing. I find myself loving it. It's a bit insane, but that's the point. The challenge of this poem was to write from the perspective of an absolutely, insane person. To go all out. And I did. And I like the result. (It's long).

The Attraction of Insanity
Get back! Get back I tell you!
Step away from my bridge.
Stop it! Stop it now!
Don't dissuade me into your fridge.
Yes, your fridge, I mean it.
Stop looking at me that way.
All you do is cold and stagnant.
Waiting. For what day?
Waiting for the end, you see.
You want what I welcome freely.
Suicidal? Not so! Get your judgment out of my way.
You fear what I relish, I won't wait to be thrown away.
Yes, I intend it. What's that you say?
Hah! Me the crazy one, 'cause you're the one to say?
What's so crazy about my freedom,
my unabridged fate? It ends with unreason,
wiping clean my dirty slate?
Hah! I laugh as you imagine
that I'm the crazy one.
I live without your fear.
No, I don't hesitate.
Back away! You're much to close
take another step away.
I've gone off the deep end? No,
not yet anyways.
What makes you so afraid? Stop!
Stop thinking of me that way!
I'm freer than you'll ever be,
and I'm not afraid to say.
No, I welcome it. Such as death,
might welcome the plague.
Yes, it isn't pretty, to think of life that way.
But what is? What's beauty that isn't fake?
It's out here, it's up there, it's living without such hate.
I hate, you say? What, what do I hate?
Myself, you say? Well, if true,
you've come much too late.
Too late, yes, I've said it.
Too late for the standards of your world.
Too late instead of early,
that's what happens when you hesitate.
I see you roll your eyes,
my honesty doesn't make me blind.
You see, that there, can't you see what you do?
You've decided what's for me, it's true.
But what will happen to you?
If I jump, you might go crazy,
and then possibly you'll see.
It's not my vision that's hazy,
I've just found the key.
The key? You laugh. But I can unlock what you cannot.
Yes, I can unlock what's truly in my soul.
What is that? You ask, but why should I tell?
What reason do you give me?
Why is it that your thirst is what I should fill??
Oh yes, your thirst. You long for what I have.
That's why you're here, you see.
Yes, you find it attractive, my insanity.
Get back! You come too close if you want to hear my words.
See? You step away. That's right, you're doing good.
I hold what you cannot have.
You long to be in my spot.
You wish for my freedom, my utter "insanity".
That's right, I mock you, I laugh at what you say.
You're attracted to my spirit, because you can't take it away.
Yes, yes, you wish I could be you.
That my thoughts might fill your mind.
You think me repulsive, yet you're jealous.
So turn, turn your face away!
Get back! Get back and step away!
You think I'm that distracted?
You think I'm utterly disturbed?
I see you and your men, as you surround me on both sides.
You think that you can stop me?
Hah! I laugh in the face of your pride.
I've made my decision, and I'm done.
Done leading a smothering life.
Say goodbye to my children, give my well wishes to my wife.
Yes, I've a family I must leave.
Shme they chose to remain in strife.
I'd ask them to join me,
but they'd say I'm asking for their life.
One more step and I go! It's no effort from me.
I'd just be filling my life's destiny.
Yes, I've got it.
The attraction of insanity.
I fill my heart with freedom,
and now I take my final leap.

-Sarrah Loyce

Poetry Challenge #1

So, my friend Katie is a writer much like myself. We decided on our last four hour train ride from Scotland to London, that we would each make a "poetry challenge" for the other to write on the trip. Here was Katie's challenge for me:

Write a poem incorporating four bible verse you like, one line from each verse. This poem must be "dark".

And here's my poem:

Untitled (I lost count of what number..)
a reflection
an outside glimpse of what is
a glance in second person
an opportunity for harsh scrutiny
"each heart knows it's own bitterness"
but what might a reflection reveal?
the underbelly of the bitter,
where the softness tries to hide?
what's the wisdom of this reference,
this outward, inward glance?
what's the reason for reflection,
when hearts use it too advance?
"where is the philosopher of this age?
can he see his sinners soul?
No. He remains blind despite reflection,
he remains within hearts lies,
furthering the hearts disguise,
so run from your reflection,
"and so deceive yourselves"
push away chance of correction,
and "devote yourselves to prayer"
but know that prayer without intention
helps filthy hearts succeed;
allows them to hide despite reflection
and lets their bitterness become their need.


The quoted lines are the bits from verses. The verses include: Proverbs 14:10, Colossians 4:2, James 1:23, and 1 Corinthians 1:20, in case you were curious.

More to come, as I have yet another challenge to work on.


<3 Sarrah Loyce

Overawed

I am overawed, and how incredible a God God is. In the past year, I've gone through some pretty intense changes, ones that I really didn't want to accept at first. The process of making them was messy and unpleasant, but necessary. I can be one of those people who dislikes change. Sometimes it takes me a while to adjust, and these changes took me a really long time. As crazy as it may sound, the biggest change for me was giving up on my dream of becoming a pediatric oncologist. No one seemed to understand how big a deal that was for me, but honestly, I still get a little teary when I think about it today.

As early as fifth grade, I found all of my value and purpose in the pursuit of that dream. I managed to turn peoples encouragement into confinement, and believe that becoming a life saving, pediatric oncologist was the only fulfilling thing in my life. Every thing else was just a step in that direction I isolated myself from options, and gave up on studying things I loved. I feed off of peoples praise for my efforts, and I defined myself by succeeding at that. And it was hard. I love chemistry, but let's be honest, I don't really have a knack for the higher level stuff. When I started to realize that, I panicked. So after a lot of teary nights, and failing a class because I was too stubborn to get the help I needed, I decided I could deal with myself if I just went ahead a did nursing. That would be okay.

So then, I transferred to UW. Not only was I having to try to pretend to be okay with this little shift, I also had to move completely out of my comfort zone, and I hated it. I don't know how many people I told how many times that I hated UW, it was horrible, and I was getting out of there as soon as I could. Those were all the cries of poor adjustment, my parents knew that, but my friends didn't. Some of them pushed me to stay, other pushed me to go. I was an absolute wreck, and had no idea how to relinquish that control. All I had was school. Looking back, it's so completely ridiculous how much I thrived off of school. And then, my classes were difficult. I worked early, went to school late, and had little fun. With each slide about nutrition or biology, I found myself loathing me because I wasn't getting it. And still, I was too proud to ask for help. And I wonder now, when was it that I forgot about God?

Because I can tell you, that I rarely prayed. When I did, it was usually because I was so overly emotional that I couldn't help but pray for some kind of relief, or because I was with other people. I played a christian pretty well, but I didn't really trust God with anything. I was so, insanely, unhappy and closed off from options of any sort. And I kept thinking back to abuelo, and how he died. Cancer, this thing I so badly wanted to fix, is what took his life. I didn't realize how much this affected me. It's almost as if I blamed myself because I didn't have the capacity to help him. I know that is utterly ridiculous, but I just kept wanting to fix things. And then to go to school and fail at all of these things, it was like disappointing his memory. Which is just even stupider, because of all people, my abuelo encouraged me to live and love my life. He told me time and time again, that it didn't matter what I did, he was proud of me, and that would be amazing. But somehow, that didn't click. Somehow, that meant I will be proud of you when you do something. And all I could possibly fathom being amazing was being a doctor. Which is so annoying a thought to me know, because that is so incredibly narrow-minded.

And then I start to take out my anger at myself on people close to me. Which is very uncool. I made necessary changes that I don't regret in and of themselves, but I do greatly regret the people that I hurt in my poor taste in making them (if that makes any amount of sense). I was so concerned with myself, that I lost my care for other people, which is what supposedly stemmed these great academic aspirations. And then, I broke down. Not in the emotional wreck sense of the phrase, clearly I'd been there and done that, but I broke down in the sense of control. I finally let go, and gave God the reigns. It wasn't a one step process, but I did. I applied to spring in London because I felt a random inspiration to do something fun (God). And I prayed, and prayed, and prayed. Because, oh Lord, what was I going to do if I wasn't going to do nursing? And I felt God calling me to study english, and writing. And I though, no, that's something I do for fun. And God said

"..."

In less words then that really. So I decided to apply this concept Natalie and Candy had talked about, and "laid out a fleece" with God. So, if I was accepted to the study abroad program, I would major in English, and go for creative writing. And I wasn't really okay with that, but what other option did I have? So I decided to start writing again - I hadn't written a poem in 2 years - and the words just spilled out onto the paper. I was personally shocked, and even more shocked when people other then my mother expressed an interest in reading them. And then I began to get a little more courageous, and remember that God does know what he's talking about. And though I still get nervous, and have no idea how this is going to work, and am coming to the end of school within a year or so, I am so much happier. For probably the first time in my life, I'm okay with not knowing everything. And I still worry that I've disappointed people some time, but I remember that God's got me where I am for a reason, and though I'm still a little nervous about thing, I should probably make what I can out of it.

I don't want to miss out on anymore of my living because I am stuck in a rut, or because I am afraid of disappointing others. I want to live to be consistently overawed with my life, and how awesome or awful it may be at the moment, because I want to rely on God to take me where I am going. I want to be okay with breaking down, and not having to hide it from everyone because it makes me appear out of control. I am gladly out of control, and following God. I have big dreams for my future still, and whether or not they come to fruition is not entirely the point. The point is that by having less defined direction in my life, God has given me better directions, and though they may not carry my mind all the way into the future, they are enough, and I am content to be overawed.

If you're one of the people I hurt along the way - I'm sorry. If you're along with me for the rest of the journey, I hope you know how much that means to me, and how happy I am with God and where he is leading all aspects of my life.


The End
Sarrah

Seconds From the City

Just
seconds from the city

a place
quiet
grassy, flowered bliss
to one side a bell rings
time passes
and life is hurried
to the other side
traffic
busy sidewalks with busy people
still rushing
but here

just
seconds from the city

is quiet
one man leans against a tree
sun shedding light on his newspaper
couples on benches
loving together
more people sitting on the grass
students with lunch in hand
who knew there could be such bliss

just
seconds from the city

blossoms bloom on trees
indicating the spring
flowers spreading across the green

just
seconds from the city

this park,
this beautiful wondrous place
seconds from the city
is peace
it escapes the bustle
the noise
and keeps you

just
seconds from the city.

London: Day 1

Lots learned today, to much to write about constantly. I will do weekly updates I suppose, haha.

Highlight of today though, was learning that pepperspray is illegal in Europe. How we learned this? Poor Molly (I think it was Molly, anyways) was arrested after having her back searched in the Tube (apparently typical). You should've seen the look on the girl next to me's face when we heard this, as she had pepperspray in her bag...

Ahh well, what can you do other then get rid of it?


EDIT: It was not Molly, but Molly's friend. :)

I have arrived...

In the lovely London. Not much to say right yet, very exhausted. But I made it, and I'm loving what I've seen thus far!

God Bless
Sarrah